I chose to be childfree. I did not choose to be mixed-race.
I’m one of those people who watches one reality murder show or another every night. I fall asleep to them – Dateline, 20/20, Evil Lives Here… Anything but woman-centric murder shows with titles like Murdering Moms or Twisted Sisters, or something. Probably because the “who” of the “whodunit” is right there in the title. Also probably because they’re produced in such a way that they’re stupid.
If you have a feeling that motherhood isn’t for you, listen to it. Explore it!
And check out my new show Childfreeness with LeNora Faye, a lighthearted, snack-able series that shares insights into choosing to not have kids.
Mother’s Day isn’t for everyone.
Whether people should need a license to have children isn’t a new conversation. In 1980, Hugh LaFollette, Marie E. and Leslie Cole Emeritus Professor in Ethics at the University of South Florida St. Petersburg and Editor-in-Chief of the International Encyclopedia of Ethics, argued in favor of licensing parents because, in short,
I’ve been a SAHW(riter) for a few years. I’m also an introvert who’s made a regular practice of avoiding groups whenever possible. Aside from the unpleasant necessity of distancing from my husband (he travels & interacts in close-ish quarters with others) and avoiding people now not because I don’t want to be around them but because they’re all potential contaminants, my movements haven’t felt notably restricted. But even with little change in that regard, there have been some differences since self-isolation / social distancing began that I’m really enjoying.
The other day, someone commented on my Instagram about never knowing the greatest love ‘until you have children.’
I think the nicest mean thing I have been called is “selfish.”
When I tell people that I don’t want to have children, they usually look at me with disapproval before asking, “Why?” — with more disbelief than curiosity. Sometimes, if I’m really lucky, they will tell me how and why all childfree people are wrong. They won’t refer to me specifically, as in why I (Isabel) am wrong. No, instead they will generalize. It’s more polite that way.
One thing that makes me crazy is reading criticisms of other people’s choices when the critics are forming their opinions as if they live in a world of their own creation, and not the one we’re all stuck with.
I recently got back on the dating horse. After 4 or 5 months of “Please leave me the fuck alone. I am really, really not interested. Really,” I decided to slowly open the doors to emotional availability again.
As soon as the door was ajar, I felt overwhelmed.