As young as five years old, I understood without real understanding that when I grew into a woman I would someday, inevitably, become a mother.
As a little girl, I semi-regularly played the game of House with a friend who lived in the next apartment building, and we’d choose our roles before each game: Husband or Wife. We took for granted that choosing Wife also meant playing the role of a mother.
Read the rest in Human Parts.
This post is a response to a Huffington Post article by Ann Brenoff titled, “Midlife ramblings: What I don’t get about my childless/childfree young friends.”
Specifically, this part:
I happen to agree that people who don’t want children should not have them. I’m delighted to wish you well on whatever road you take, but I do find myself stopping mid hand-wave and asking this question: Really?
How can you be so sure? I think having kids is one of those things you should probably never say never about.
I was visiting my childhood friend, now a mother, when dinner time arrived. She squirted ketchup onto her daughter’s plate and then her son’s. And then mine. I looked at it.
She immediately recognized her mistake and laughed. She knew I could squirt my own ketchup, she said, but she was just so used to doing it… She apologized (still laughing) for overstepping her role as “mother” by inadvertently mothering me.
Where my friend excelled is where many other women, such as Kathleen Parker in her column “Of pleasure and parenthood,” fail miserably. They overstep their role as mother by saying things, as Parker did, such as, “It’s hard to know for certain that one doesn’t want children. Many don’t, until they do.”
“I think the author is a bit defensive about her choice to not have children.”
“The author sounds so bitter, like she needs to defend herself for being childfree.”
“Why is the author so angry? There is no need to be SO defensive!”
I recently had a short Twitter discussion with Stefan Molyneaux that revealed: 1. all women but “his” women are fair targets, and 2. the reason he won’t come on our show. (Scared, you might reasonably think, but he had another reason.) It all began like this:
Recently, I shared an article on Facebook about three white supremacists who were arrested by the FBI. Someone commented, “Is there anything more pathetic than someone trying to use skin pigment to claim some sort of superiority?”
Something about that comment made me think of motherhood. Not the day-to-day operation of raising a child, but the idea of motherhood.
In the eighth episode of Childfree Girls, our guest is relationship coach Natalie Fikes. She is also a mother. We invited her on the show to discuss some controversial comments she’d made on her social media. The conversation took a turn when we asked about her personal experiences with motherhood.